Have you ever looked at a course outline and wondered why a specific course was a requirement and not an elective part of the curriculum? That’s how I felt about the course outline for the Sexuality and Disability /Illness course, it was exorbitant.
I had mixed emotions as I started this class and didn’t know what to expect apart from talking about sexuality in people with physical disabilities. Only to find out that the coursework consisted of using critical thinking skills to understand the impact of health issues on sexuality. As the class came to an end it turned out to be the missing puzzle in my quest in the field of “Intersectional Sexual Health”. A path that considers many aspects of life and how they interlock within the field of sexuality. Kudos to the instructor, she was a well-versed individual who encouraged students to learn by letting them think outside the box.
As the class continued it was quite clear that I would have to start thinking outside the traditional definitions of disabilities. In one specific assignment, we were to give examples of an invisible disability. I don’t know for what reason I chose loneliness as a study for that week. Maybe, it was because I had recently met a couple of people both professionally and personally who said that they were lonely in spite of their well-rounded lives or maybe it was because earlier that week a local church had organized a workshop on the same topic. I had never thought about the impact of loneliness on health yet it is a topic we need to pay close attention to, as it is becoming a public health issue; a worldwide epidemic.
Remember Jennifer Lawrence the beautiful actress who took a picture with Ellen Degeneres during the 2014 Oscar Awards? She was featured on the cover of one Vogue magazine where she talked about the impact of loneliness in her life. Nothing on that magazine cover screamed “loneliness”; something we term as an invisible disability.
Loneliness is an emotional response to isolation and has been linked to increased mental disorders which typically brings about anxious feelings and a lack of connection or communication with other beings. Some of the effects cause negative feelings and low self- esteem. It impacts productivity in the workplace and at home, increases tension in social relationships and causes low morale or productivity.
Statistics have shown that loneliness:
- Can eventually lead to mood disorders such as depression.
- Has been linked to coronary heart disease and stroke by the US Department of Health and Human Services https://www.hrsa.gov/enews/past-issues/2019/january-17/loneliness-epidemic
Now think about how these illnesses/disorders may impact human sexuality. They may cause low self-esteem, cause one to have a negative body image, low sexual appetite, low sexual activity, and in cases like heart disease they might cause sexual dysfunction like erectile dysfunction among many others.
Loneliness has become such a big health policy agenda and governments are creating policies to tackle this epidemic. For example, different reliable sources will tell you that in 2018 Britain’s Prime minister Theresa May appointed a Minister of loneliness to tackle social isolation in Britain. Some of the strategies of the British government were to create programs that reconnect people with their communities to enhance individual health and eventually increase community growth and involvement. Enhancing community growth is a great way of social support which eventually increases the quality of life.
On a personal level, I was curious to learn about this epidemic at the local workshop. The workshop was well attended by people from all walks of life; professionals, stay at home mums, students, and your regular Marys and Joes, nothing was out of the ordinary about the attendees of the workshop. But there were certain themes from the attendees, either for learning or self-discovery. Some professionals had a goal of increasing their knowledge, others were there to create friendships and then there were people like the woman who was dressed in a designer’s outfit who shared that she had everything this life could offer but felt “so lonely” and needed some solutions in her life. For sure this epidemic doesn’t discriminate, it affects people from all walks of life.
As the church workshop came to an end the facilitator showed us what the brain of an extremely lonely person looked like under a medical scan. The brain was full of what looked like “holes” to the normal eye. The “holes” signify the chemical imbalance of the brain as this epidemic tampers with the biological makeup of the brain. Now that’s a whole different story for another day. One interesting theme that came up during the discussions is that the group came to a consensus that loneliness might be prevalent in our society because of people’s preference for living an individualistic lifestyle. Maybe it’s time for us to have an open discussion about this individualistic lifestyle and its impact on our health, relationships, and the community at large. While times are changing and people are preferring to live an individualistic lifestyle, we need to ask, what is the cost of this lifestyle?
I have met many African immigrants who are always proud of their community living lifestyle back in their home countries but with personal preferences and adapting to their new homeland, many are starting to live an individualistic lifestyle. At what cost are we doing this if it will eventually impact our health? How can we balance it all out?
Watch the following video on the science of feeling lonely.