There was a lot of hype and controversy about the New York Times bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey but there are important lessons to be learned on how issues of mental health, relationships, family dynamics, and sexual interests intersect. What can we learn from the 3-series fictional book and/or the follow-up movies?
Family Dynamics
- Christian Grey was born into a family of poverty and adopted into a very rich family, did this push him to want to succeed?
- Does his upbringing have anything to do with his attachment style? Studies have shown that an adult’s attachment style correlates to how they connected to others during their childhood.
- His family may not look dysfunctional or do we think it is dysfunctional for bringing up what many might call a “pervert”? Did his family even understand his personal struggles?
Lifestyle
- In the movie, Christian Grey clarifies that he is not a dominant but a sadist, terms that can usually get mixed up when explaining different lifestyles or interests. So who exactly is a sadist? He is a person who gets sexual pleasure by seeing other people go through pain or discomfort.
Consent
- On various occasions, Christian is seen asking for consent when he approaches Anastasia for sex. This is a great message that is emphasized by sexologists that consent, communication, and sexual practices go hand in hand. Unfortunately without consent, the implications are dire and can lead to legal issues and /or cause trauma. Consent is such a big subject area that should never be ignored.
- With consent also comes the topic of boundaries. On different occasions we see Anastasia say No to certain requests. Remember, No is a full sentence.
Consent. Adverse Childhood Experiences. Attachment Style
Impact of Childhood Experiences
- Effects of Adverse childhood experiences; his scars tell a story of being abused as a child. What is the impact of the abuse on his life today? Has it pushed him to want to work extra hard? Has the pain caused him not to trust and want to be in control? Is he also causing some kind of pain to somebody else because of his own pain? Does Christian understand how his storyline impacts his present life, which could have some intergenerational trauma in it? It is important to understand our storylines https://bnhealthmatters.com/the-power-of-story-telling/
- In the last movie, Anastasia is seen having an argument with Christian telling him that though he had a rough childhood, he needed to work on his trauma as it was having an impact on their relationship. Basically telling him to seek help to change his narrative. Dealing with Adverse Childhood experiences (ACEs) is no easy task but very important in order to live a healthy life. Early childhood experiences have a great impact not only on our mental health but our overall health. ACEs have been linked to risky behaviors. And though not addressed in the movie, they have also been linked to diseases such as diabetes, depression, and heart diseases.
Not the steamy review you expected from this review but looking at issues from a different lens might us understand how our past can impact our health and behaviors. So what if we changed the dynamics of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele? What if they belonged to a different race, with different political systems in a different country will their stories end up the way the book ended? My quest for these health intersections continues.