I like taking walks around this particular posh neighborhood, to enjoy nature and admire the beautiful houses along the streets. One day as I was walking past this beautiful home with a big glass door, 2 door garage, and very expensive cars parked outside, something caught my eye.
It was a memorial stone outside the front yard. The words on the stone read “This stone is laid here in memory of…”
Judging from the words on that stone, it seemed that the family in that beautiful mansion had lost one of their family members and had placed the memorial stone in remembrance of their loved one. I remember standing there for a few moments with a lot of questions about the said person. It took me a moment to remember that I was standing in front of someone’s front yard and had to mind my own business.
As I kept walking, I could not help but think about the young woman whose name was engraved on that stone. Well, truth be told this is not the first time that I have done this concerning a departed soul. I somehow find myself standing in respect at a funeral procession or when I pass by a cemetery. You might call it crazy but we all do things that only make sense to us. To give respect to the departed soul, a person I knew nothing about. And for a few moments, I wonder about their dreams, fears, and how this death might have affected their families. And I go on to wonder given a chance, what would this person say from the bottom of the grave?
I had the same feeling when I heard about Kobe Bryant’s death via a group chat. I first thought that the news was a hoax because you can never be sure nowadays on what is true or false on social media. I had to go verify via reliable online sources. And the confirmation was right, the basketball legend had breathed his last. I have been a die-hard fan of the Lakers even when I lived in the New England area where the Celtics were THE team. Kobe’s life might have impacted many of his fans in all sorts of ways, you would have thought that many of them had a personal relationship with him. What were his final moments like? Was he saying a prayer? What were his plans? What would have been the outcome of numbers 8 and 24 if he didn’t die prematurely? These are some of the things that we his fans might never know and some of those answers might only be known to those close to him. For sure all of those “ifs” went with him when he died. Most of his fans must have felt sad because his life which was full of dreams was cut short at a young age.
Years of Potential Life Lost, a measure of premature death
I remember someone once said that the grave is the richest place because it holds very many unaccomplished dreams. Ever wonder what the departed would say from the bottom of the grave? Death is inevitable and it is still a taboo in most societies to talk or acknowledge it. Like I recently visited a community where it is still a taboo to even mention someone’s name when they die. So does thinking of the what-ifs of the untold stories of the grave matter to us. Yes, they do because premature death is a relevant topic to public health professionals/ governments. After all, they calculate a measure known as YPLL (Years of Potential Life Lost), a measure of premature death. Measuring premature mortality helps us understand the losses in our environments e.g. economic and social losses. For example, the CDC reports that 88,000 alcohol-related deaths each year in the US accounts for 2.5 million years of potential life lost https://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/fact-sheets/alcohol-use.htm.
These losses buried six feet under remind me that there is a higher being in control of these things and about the fragility of life. Death is so final and we need to take a moment and embrace life’s moments. And when all is said done, it is not easy to normalize death as it touches the core of our being. Death is one passage in life that seems to shake even the strongest persons. It is harder for those directly connected to the departed soul and I know this too well as someone who has gone through grief. But the truth is a new normal has to be defined and unfortunately the grave will continue to hold the unknown riches and dreams.