What's My Self Identity? - BN Health Matters

It was one of those long nights and I was looking forward to doing some work with little or no distractions. As hard as some of those nights can be on the body, they sometimes bring some kind of sanity as it gives us time to complete some work in quietness. On this particular night, “Sarah” (not her real name) kept pacing up and down past the office. This was not her norm as she would be asleep most of the night and would never come downstairs unless it was to take her antidepressants which were on rare occasions. Sarah was normally quiet and never complained, she was very self-aware of her own mental health challenges and very resourceful but on this particular night, something seemed different. I invited her to have a chat.

I expected Sarah to talk about her regular challenges with depression or the challenges she was having at work. She was a qualified IT specialist but was having some difficulties maintaining her work schedule due to her mental health challenges. She situated herself in the office, looked at me, and said, “I just don’t know how to handle this, I am struggling with my self-identity”. She didn’t know if she was to consider herself of American or European descent. Sarah was born in one of the countries in the European continent and her parents were from two different countries. She immigrated to America with her parents when she was a young child.

She started by saying how disappointed she was with her parents for not understanding her mental illness, how things had changed for the family since they emigrated, and how this had negatively impacted her mental health. She was more concerned that her mental health challenges had escalated to different psychotic episodes which included suicidal ideations. As I sat down to listen and understand her challenges, I could not help but think of this familiar story that I hear too often from many children of immigrants; a lack of self- identity due to the impact of transition. Children of immigrants are faced with challenges as they try to balance living within their ethnic background and assimilating to a different culture (acculturation). This transition can have an impact on not only the children’s mental health but their physical well being as well.

So what are some of the issues we talked about that were specific to Sarah’s situation?

Lack of self-identity was increasing her anxiety and depression.

Low self-esteem might have impacted her motivation for self-discovery.

People without an identity might have a hard time defining what their belief or value systems are and can make them feel displaced.

She understood that she was fighting with 2 different value systems and in her case 3 because her parents came from two different cultural backgrounds. It was time for her to think about her own values and create her own path.

That it was also important for her to understand her family traditions as research has shown that those who maintain their own cultures and adapt to new ones have better health outcomes.

A discussion with her parents will be a continuous trial and error process that might not get her the answers she expects because she cannot control their understanding, beliefs, or values.

Above everything else as a person who had been diagnosed with depression, it was vital for her to follow through with the recommended medical treatment as she continued to implement any behavioral changes.

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Assimilating to a different culture and impact on mental health

After a long discussion, Sarah was in much better spirits that night because we had talked about some vital pointers in her life and where she needed to start. She was going to be fighting her identity battle for a while and it would require several sessions with her healthcare providers, support system, and her own willpower but for this particular night, she needed some sanity and sleep. She went to her room and I never saw her again that night or when I left in the morning. She had a long road ahead of her to try to define her own identity but sometimes winning a daily battle is all we need to keep us sane with hope for a better tomorrow.

Many parents looking for a better life for their children are also caught between understanding systems in their adopted countries and teaching their children their values and traditions. Unfortunately for most parents, there is no manual for raising children, leave alone doing it in a foreign country. Due to immigration and transitions, cultures and languages are slowly becoming extinct. This behavior may eventually have an impact on people’s mental health as people may lack a value or belief system. The lack of having a self- identity has been linked to some mental health problems like anxiety.

There are many challenges that immigrant families face but one thing is for sure we need to have open discussions about how the mix of our past homelands and current homelands can end up having a negative impact on our health. There might not be an easy way to solve this issue but communication and understanding between parents and children are vital to reduce any negative health outcomes. When all is said and done there isn’t an easy way to balance accepting a new culture and at the same time protecting peoples’ cultural origin, language, and heritage.

I am not saying immigration causes health issues but if we fail to recognize the impact caused by immigration /transition we might end up dealing with mental health challenges like depression or anxiety. So let’s not sweep the topic of the impact of immigration under the rug.